by rubberpigobject
“Damn it!”
Although the actual sound he made was more along the lines of “Mmg mmph!”
His heart was racing from the effort it was taking just to force his body to lean over the fence. To say nothing of the effort it took just to breathe. The leather bondage suit he was trapped in was so thick and so tight that it took all of his strength just to get one foot up on the bottom rail and lean over the top.
His arms shook while trying to lean over the rail and adding so much pressure to his midsection which already felt corseted, that he couldn’t breathe and so had to let go of the fence. He dropped to the ground and stumbled backwards, barely being able to prevent himself from falling flat on his back which, if he wasn’t seriously injured or killed when his head would slam into the ground, it would have meant the end of his escape as he would never be able to stand up on his own. His escape was going poorly though and already and deep inside him, but as yet un-acknowledged, he knew it was a doomed effort. He hadn’t truly understood just how futile the effort was until he had finally escaped the training room in which he had been trapped for longer than he could remember. It took him so painfully long until he was able to nearly blindly shuffle his leather bound and booted feet to the outside of his prison before he accepted that he was never going to get away while being stuck in that suit. Being locked in the training room he had nowhere to go, very little reason to rush and with little space to do it in, he hadn’t yet grasped just how limited his ability to move really was. It was... insane.
What was even more insane was that even through the pinhole eyes of the leather hood which had seemingly been glued to his head, the bright intensity of the sun’s natural light stung his eyes until he could barely see. It was taking an exceedingly long time for them to readjust but it probably wouldn’t matter anyway, he figured that it would only be a matter of minutes now before he would be found and returned to the training room. And he also knew that given his little insurrection, there would most definitely be some severe punishment and intensified training in his foreseeable future. Everything he did or didn’t do always resulted in more bondage, it was just a matter of severity depending on his transgressions, failures or achievements as even his rewards were just more bondage.
He stood panting and staring at the fence with frustration and longing, it was such a simple fence that if it weren’t for the leather bondage suit, he could have just fallen over it while restrained in almost any other kind of bondage. But as things were now, he could barely bend his knees or lift a foot away from the floor. To climb just one and a half rails of the fence literally took all of his strength and a lot of dangerous leaning and gyrations that he truly was surprised that he made it that far. He was so exhausted from his “running away” and his failed attempt to scale the fence that he felt like the tightness of the suit was the only thing that was enabling him to stay upright. But even then it was a tenuous feeling.
He tried looking around for another way out but the pinhole eyes of the hood limited his view so much that he could only see a few feet in front of him. Beyond that the world might as well not exist. Between the fear and the exertion, his breathing was still fast and shallow, he worried that he might actually hyperventilate if he couldn’t slow down and catch his breath. He had to fall back on his reluctant training in order to calm his mind and slow his breathing, just like so many other times where he could barely breathe thanks to his constant bondage, breath control and being worked over while he was utterly helpless to prevent any of it.
Random images and bits of memories flashed through his racing mind as he tried to slow it, memories which he had to admit many weren’t actually weren’t all that bad. Yes, he had been pushed into unconsciousness more times than he could keep track of, yes he had been pushed to the point of tears and screaming and crying and beyond. After all... he had asked for it, begged for it even.
He thought he knew what he was getting himself into while the master who was training him was assuring him that he was not truly understanding the depths through which he would be taken. He tried to convince the boy that he was still fantasizing so much that he couldn’t acknowledge how bad the hardships would be, how far he would be pushed and how much he would be broken before being rebuilt by his master’s vision for him.
How long had it been? Definitely weeks, but just how many? He couldn’t grasp just how quickly he had lost any sense of time. The training room had no windows, no natural light, and his master-to-be came and went at completely unpredictable intervals. The boy spent huge stretches of time desperately trying to sleep and get some real rest but instead all he could manage to do was to continually drift in and out of... what? Consciousness? He couldn’t consider it that since nothing felt like actual sleep. It was more like coming in and out of a trance, where his sense of awareness faded in and out like the shortwave radio stations on the other side of the planet that he used to search for as a kid, staying up late at night with his father’s short wave radio. Distant staticky songs and foreign voices faded in and out, expanding his sense of the vastness of the world and feeling almost adrift through it all. When he was left alone, stored or ignored, that’s how he felt. Fading back and forth, never being fully in tune, never able to focus on, nor understand one thing at a time.
But then when he was given a task, or instructions for what to do next, he found that it was all he could think of. Even if thinking was difficult at the time, he would become all about that exact moment. Everything else would fade away and all he had to be concerned about was what he needed to do for his master at that very moment. Then he had to admit that things were pretty simple that way. That maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, to being limited to essentially a single thing; obeying. Sure, there were many things he had to remember, to perform correctly and so on, but it was all within that one singular goal, to be of service to his master. That was to be his sole focus and purpose of his life from then on.
It was actually the most clarity he had ever had in his life, maybe that wasn’t so bad either?
But it was all so hard so often! He suffered almost continuously, always in bondage with never a moment of unrestricted or unrestrained movement. Possibly spending more time immobilized in some kind of captivity or bondage than not, with his body always aching somewhere. Exhaustion was his constant companion, trapped with him inside all the rubber and leather he had been sealed inside of every moment of his existence except for the incredibly brief times where he was taken out for hygiene.
Bound, beaten, flogged and whipped until he was bloody, fucked until his ass was sore, and still then more fucking because that’s all his ass was for. He never knew one man could fuck so much and he often wondered if other men were snuck in when the boy was locked in a world of sensory deprivation. Unable to see or hear, bound in place and fucked for hours, well past the point of his tears which went unseen, often soaking into the leather hoods that had effectively replaced his skin.
He kept being told that he wasn’t ready yet. The training would continue, in intensity and duration and hardships until the boy would show that he was finally ready to become the thing his master intended for him. His thing, the thing that had thoughts of nothing else but being an object, faceless and without identity or status. A thing that would panic at the thought of being unrestrained and which felt safer inside of its cage.
“Oh... the cage...” he thought to himself, realizing that he was actually missing it after having been sealed inside the bondage suit for so long and being rendered incapable of folding himself up enough to fit inside the thing.
Sometimes the cage was pure torture, tied and restrained within it, unable to move an inch on any direction, but most of the time the cage was where he could just “be”. To simply exist while he waited for his master, but then he wondered just how much he really did exist without his master? Maybe he didn’t exist, does the tree that falls unseen in the forest make a sound?
“Oh damn it!” He chided himself as he snapped out of the quasi-trance he had slipped into while staring blankly at the fence which ended his escape. He was weirdly hot but in a way that also felt warm and tiring. He realized that he was standing in the sun which was slowly starting to cook him inside of his leather bondage suit that had become his skin since... how long? He chuckled when he couldn’t remember when the suit was first tightly laced and strapped around him.
“How does that work?” He wondered “Sure, maybe I couldn’t remember one day to the next but why can’t I remember just putting it on?”
The sun kept beating down on his black leather skin and he felt hot, sweaty, weak and sleepy. Maybe a little light headed, it was hard to tell anymore really. That wasn’t really so bad either was it?
“Wow” He flinched at the voice that had appeared right beside him “I am truly amazed that you even made it this far.”
His mind seemed to derail, all thoughts were suddenly replaced by a confounding train wreck of emotions and fears. He froze, unable to form a complete thought and waited for the voice of his master to continue, for all intents and purposes, sounding like the voice of God.
“I told you that you weren’t ready didn’t I boy? I tried to tell you that this was going to be hard and even though you kept begging me, trying to convince me that you understood, I could see it in your eyes. That you still held on to the fantasy of lifelong bondage and servitude that you can act out for just a weekend. Maybe a week at most before going back to your regular life.
I told you that if I take you in, train you to be my slave object and eliminate everything else about your existence that it was for real. For keeps and no matter how long it takes to draw that out of you and bring it up to the surface, there was and is no backing out.”
The boy agreed with every word. Defeated, he knew the master was right. The boy had begged, he said his eyes were wide open and in hindsight, he knew he had been still actively treating it like a weekend fantasy. And now he was faced with the reality of the last real decision he made, the moment he declined his master’s last offer to back out and return to an ordinary life was his last decision as a full human. Sir was right, he didn’t feel human anymore, but he still hadn’t completely let go of the illusion of his previous life, that lie which he had been suffering through for so long.
And now he still suffered but he was starting to realize that it was a kind of beautiful suffering. Something that reaffirmed his place in the world and which he could now see as a beacon leading him toward his master. Showing him the way to the safe harbor where the boy could be what he really was.
There was a flash of panic, like waking up with a jump for no obvious reason where he came back into awareness. Sir was speaking to him again and his body couldn’t move, in fact it felt as if he was almost being crushed.
“... and you’re staying like this for the next week. At least. Unless of course your chest can’t handle the constant compression in which case I’ll loosen those straps just enough to let you breathe a little more easily. I know you’re thinking that you won’t be able to handle being sealed up inside a leather sleep sack while you’re still in your bondage suit, with your rubber underneath it all for a week. But it will be over before you know it, unless it takes longer in which case it won’t be over. But eventually you’ll wonder how you ever could have doubted me or your ability to suffer for me.
I’ll be back later to get that useless cock of yours catheterized and then after that the only time I’m going to be interacting with you is to feed and water you. And once you eventually show me that you’re ready, I’ll restart your training until you’re the obedient mindless bondage and pain pig we both know you are.”